Job half done

I was thinking of ways of being funny and clever and acerbic and veiled to do this particular blog...but I'm tired now, and so I'll say it in one long possibly inchoate sentence and trust that those reading this will understand:
How much is a new writer supposed to nurse her own book, yaar. I mean, launches went well, but only after serious worrying and nagging and 'setting' on my part. Now I am asked, for things to go beyond the big splash stage, that the book must be visible (which it isnt) in the southern literate metros. How, I'm wondering, do I have any control on that? Isnt that why I am err...the writer, and not the marketer of this book? Secondly, I am asked airily by several in the know: how come you're not getting it reviewed? Huh? It seems that it is simply not enough that the publisher sends off over 50 review copies to key publications. You have to then network and pester and cajole and pray and subtly grow some mystique around you (i would find it easier to grow a long beard), so that reviews/literary page people in these publications sit up, find someone to review the book, and then actually print that review before your grandchildren are born. meaning in real time. But I had so much good press, reports and interviews and big-big photos of self and Shabana Azmi releasing my book, all over the place, I whine, to the people who are asking me "where are the reviews?" Plus already 2 sir-jis called me asking about film rights. another lady called about doing a Marathi translation. But not enough, uh-huh, I am told firmly. No, no. If you want you book to really be read and taken seriously, you must 'ensure' it is reviewed. Don't you know anyone in Outlook? Hindu? Express, Age, Dawn, Dusk, 2-bit Rag, Hi-brow Rag, Snob Times, Snotty Weekly? I am now asked. Like I have really not completed the writing job. Well no, I dont, and I'm as clued in as the next guy, but if someone told me that writing a book meant first spending 3 years before that cultivating some old-boys/girls/transgender network to ensure reviews, I would have not written any book, and just stuck to doing the thing i love doing best, yaar - checking for ticks in that little pocket of my dog's ear flaps. You know the one, which god seems to have designed just for parasites to park themselves on a dog. But I digress.
Back to more doggedly irritating issues. So I send awkward little emails to a few people I know asking...er...are you having my book reviewed? Note, not: "Hey see to it that your esteemed publication gives me a damn good review." Just: err...are you having my book reviewed? Needless to say, nobody replies. And this, somehow, is solely my failing as the writer of 3 ZM. Not my publisher or agent's failing. Solely my failing. Other publishers too, watching this book, are reported to have said with curled lip: "But where are the reviews?" Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea culpa, for not being able to get 3 ZM reviewed left right and centre. It's like you had a nice bonnie baby, but failed to pull the right strings to get it admission into all the topmost playschools which will ensure that she will get direct admission to the best B-schools, and so somehow you've been a laggardly parent!

silence in the south

Had another rollicking launch of 3 Zakia Mansion in Pune. Well-attended, great weather, superb reading by Tanvi, some reading by me, vibrant bunch of guests aged 8 to 80. Brisk sales of the book, much signing and interview giving etc. However (isnt there always a however; every silver has a cloudy lining), puzzling and bewildering (polite words) news is that 3 Zakia Mansion is just not available in some of the great shops in Delhi, my friends tell me. Some of the really respectable non-chain fellers. As for South India...oh well, it seems blank looks is all people elicit if they ask for the book anywhere - Banglore, Chennai, Hyderabad....smaller towns I dont know, but somehow I dont think the shelves are groaning with 3 ZM in, say, Mysore, or Ooty or Salem! Jokes apart - why they have not found their way to the big, literate, English-speaking southern sisters, i have no, no idea. So for all of you who have sweetly been patiently been asking for a copy of 3 ZM at all your favourite bookstores, I just dont know what to tell you.

they're feeling neglected

In all the fun and frolic and fans (dare i use the word - i now have fans :P) surrounding 3 Zakia Mansion, three books have sat quietly for a while on my bookshelf. Now they're not so quiet anymore. One of them has begun to grumble and mutter openly; one of them jumped off the shelf (suicide attempt?) and the third is saying things like "if you were going to have one of your own, why did you adopt us,"etc. So here they are, in their full cover-glory. 3 anthologies which carry one thing each by me. They deserve to be on my blog too, they reminded me. Chasing the Good Life - Being Single in India has my piece called Suddenly Single; Stories at the Coffee Table has my short story Mrs Blarsingdale; and India Smiles has my piece Nat Geo Goes to Bollywood.

3 ZM has a party!

Ha! After all that whining and worrying I did about 3 ZM, we had a superb Mumbai launch. So allow me to exult and crow a bit?
Friends, colleagues, family, ex-colleagues, ex-neighbours, fellow-writers, childhood friends, mother's old buddies, counsellees, friends of friends], blog-readers ....and total strangers braved traffic (many of them sitting in their cars for over 2 hours) and poured down the elevator and into Crossword Juhu. Mercifully there was no rain on the parade. Shabana arrived in time, and we got off to a great start. It was informal, interactive. She read superbly of course. How actors can sit in a chair, and conjure up for us the people, the atmosphere of a particular scene, by reading so wonderfully. That we've known each other for several years now, helped. We were comfortable with each other, kidding around a bit, and yet focused on the book and the audience. (She couldnt hide her surprise at my well-dressed avatar, and commented on it - there was a roar of approval from the audience; obviously everyone was marvelling at how i had actually managed to change out of baggy pants and t-shirt).
I saw a phalanx of photographers and tv crews - and assumed they were there for Shabana. When I asked her, she said No I didnt call them! Once the reading was done - I read some too - we were full celeb style attacked by cameras, questions, etc. Later I realised this was all thanks to some rather deft footwork by the young team at Crosswords (one cutie named Amrit in particular) and by a team in Good Relations (another cutie named Pallavi). To top it all, they served the guests fabulous coffee and fat fat chocolate chip cookies.
After the camera people left, I saw a patient line of people waiting to have the book authographed. Amongst them were many dear friends and I told them they were mad to stand there. All of them thought it was hugely fun to stand in queue for me to sign.
Typically, none of us thought to take pictures! I have got something off the net, from a site called smashhits.com. Hope to get some of my doing the signing thing from Pallavi, soon.
The book sold solidly in those 2 hours - Crossword had to send out for more from another of their shops. Too much fun. On top of it, a friend sitting in front of his telly sms-ed that 3 Zakia Mansion was mentioned by Sunil Sethi of Just Books (NDTV Profit) as amongst the top 5 bestsellers.
Now there's a launch in Pune on the 28th and one in Bangalore on the 2nd of July. Should be fun. Mumbai and Pune is ekdum my backyard. Bangalore, I'll have to be a little more demure!
g

Ask my dogs if they care

Always, always, two opposing things have to go on in my life, paralllellly (I'm supplying extra ls, please delete whichever you think are extra - this is what i am now free to do, after slaving over 100s of manuscripts editing for content as well as spelling, and all, all these years. Now i'm just going to hand out extra letters - and you go figure, for words like commmmittttted and benefffittted and and bizzaarrre and many more.)

So the two opposing things are, that while I am getting interviewd and photographed and called to talk hither and yon, about my book (3 Zakia Mansion, pyaar se usko log 3ZM pukartey hai, etc), at home, the canine contingent is totally unimpressed. Open a paper and show them your pic, and they say - ya, where's our grub. Try to get them out into the yard, out of the way of some cowering interviewer, and the two adolescent curs say under their breath: how many books is it going to take her to write to get her to install a retractable awning to keep this place dry. Wind them up with commercial dog food instead of home-cooked, on a busy day, and one of them vomits accusingly. And not in the yard. Right inside the house; possibly on the yoga mat. The older dog sighs and gives long doleful looks - thoroughly unimpressed by my 5 minutes of fame. When i squeeze in time to take them to the vet (shots, ears, nails, teeth, glands, skin...you think life is about writing books?? grrrr), they make it a point to jump into the car and occupy it all, including the driver's seat. The message is clear - first learn to drive the car from the back seat - then pretend to be a writer, lady.

You're invited

After whimpering and shivering and occasionally growling out in the cold, i am happy to announce, 3 Zakia Mansion is going to be launched officially by Penguin India in Mumbai and Pune. Shabana Azmi will read from the book in Mumbai on the 19th and Tanvi Azmi in Pune on the 28th of June.

Much fun.

Anyone reading this is welcome. Do come. Want a nice warm-cosy launch and not those embarrassing events at bookstores where random people from the aisles are beseeched and then frog-marched to where the reading is going on, and made to sit there without a choice!

Never too late

I dont know who said it, but a friend sent it to me, saying it would be a fitting tagline to my counselling work. Yes, but it also would make a great tagline for 3 Zakia Mansion. It says: "It's never too late to have a happy childhood"
Very nice. It really isn't ever too late.